Burning a 3 Way Candle

First things first, you have to play this video while you read my post. This will give you a sense of what I do all the time (multitask) and will also give you a sense of the soundtrack to my life in this moment. Plus, it's a fucking awesome song.

So, once again I find myself blogging when I really should be working on this script. I want to work on the script. I've been reading and working on scripts (including this one) all day. I think this may be my problem. As my friend Stephanie just told me "You're burning the candle at both ends, except your candle has 3 sides." Stephanie is right and so are most of you who told me I'm overloading myself, I'll keep from using your real name, but it rhymes with Schmegg. You win. Blurgh.

I used to spell "Blurgh" with just a "g" at the end... I might return to that... I don't think I like that H... leave your comments to let me know what you think and then I'll smack you right back with my opinions, because let's face it, I love to do that.

Like I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, I'm supposed to be working on this script. I'm hoping that blogging will help loosen up whatever its going on upstairs in my brainland and help me write something funny. It's like the more I think about how much I have to do with it the more psyched out I get... a vicious cycle... a true white lady problem.

Let me tell you my life saving choice today. Listening to Tina Fey's new book "Bossypants" on the book on tape-esque option on my new Kindle... Thanks Jodi!

If you're going to read Tina Fey's book and you're in a car, this is the way to do it (especially since reading in the car is for the A. experience and B. retarded).

The woman's robotic voice is just makes words like "lesbian," "b-hole" and "very, very, very, very, very" all that much better. She also can't pronounce "Bossypants" it resembles the way you would say "participant" instead of "Bossy-pants." Amazing.

This is a great pastime for East to West then West to East traffic time and the occasional loop North. I can read without reading and I'm not eating into time I would be doing anything other than listening to NPR, singing Whitney Houston songs out loud or of course, speaking with loved ones illegally on my DROID (If you've been around me when my phone is on you know what I'm talking about).

The low points of my day were kind of frequent today, but nothing 3rd world... or were they? Maybe the 3rd world does want to cry when they're Ray Bans hit the ground and kind of get a little messed up. Maybe people walking from village to village are worried about Beverly Hills being over the top. Maybe countries with little to no drinking water do stress about "is my 434 script funny enough and why can't I just fucking write it and be a good writer like all the super smart people I go to school with?" Yeah, they probably worry about these things. Sorry, guys, I have no advice because we deal with these issues as well in the US. It's a real shame.

Have I finished bitching? No... What are you crazy?! I could complain all day... give me a subject... I'll improvise... I'll "yes and" that shit 'til the cows come home... I'll complain about the cows coming home... I don't have room for cows in my shitty studio apartment at

123 murder street, LA CA 900***

Gotcha.

My last complaint before I go do actual work... and if anyone gives me shit about doing this and not doing actual work tomorrow I might kill them on the spot...

Tina Fey is pregnant. WTF.

I was so proud of her for not sharing this kind of information and complaining about it endlessly in The New Yorker-- because I love reading the New Yorker and if anyone feels moved enough to get me a subscription or give me your old magazines... do it. I love that shit.

Oh, well. I guess it's okay. I mean, pregnancy is weird. It's like alien or the end of Spaceballs... but choices... and only children are weird (yeah, you heard me) so I guess props to them. Blurg (no "h").