Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A year

It's been nearly a year since I posted anything here... So here's a new version of what I posted last year. Some things have changed.
Things in Green are the same

  • A-Available/Single? Yep! Loving singularity right now :)
• B-Best Friend? Carol/BabyG/Erin
C-Cake or Pie? Trying to cut back on both... but I love both.
• D-Drink Of Choice? Iced tea 
E-Essential Item You Use Everyday? Sunglasses and Keys
• F-Favorite Color? Green/Red/Black
G-Gummy Bears Or Worms? Gummy Bears (red and pineapple)
• H-Hometown? Easton
• I-Indulgence? Trader Joe's Chocolate bar
• J-January Or February? November.
K-Kids & Their Names? If I adopted a well behaved child: Ingrid/Ian
• M-Marriage Date? Next lifetime?

• N-Number Of Siblings? 1
O-Oranges Or Apples? Oranges (I'd prefer Grapefruit)
• P-Phobias/Fears? Everything? I'm like Woody Allen.
• Q-Favorite Quote? "Deeds not words."
• R-Reason to Smile? The Dick Van Dyke Show
• S-Season? Spring
• T-Tag Three or Four People? why? So they can know how cool I am?
• U-Unknown Fact About Me? I kick with my left foot.
• V-Vegetable you don't like? Stephen Hawkins, sike, Fennel. (I still love this joke)
W-Worst Habit? Picking my nose (What if I had said "Pooping myself?")
• X-X-rays You've Had? Teeth, ankle, head, neck, pelvis ... is this the only x word someone could think of?
• Y-Your Favorite Food? Salad (for real, I love it.)
• Z-Zodiac Sign? Sagittarius

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Michelle Bachmann: A Lesson in Hate

I feel like since Michelle Bachmann feels like she can just denounce people so openly in the name of God... We should rally as many people who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, supporting gay rights and all of our dogs... Drive to one of her speeches, act really excited and try to shake her hands.

Everyone tells her that they're gay and came to the rally specifically to save her children from her hurtful and horrible words. What do you think? I want to crush her like a bug on a windshield. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/us/politics/17bachmann.html?_r=1&hp

For saying she's a Christian, she's not being very Christ like. She should be more Jewish. Then she'd be cool... Well, no she wouldn't. She sucks eternally and I hope she knows that the God I theoretically might believe in ... and the heaven that if I didn't think we all just go back to dirt and energy goes into something else -- exists... St. Peter or Jesus or God or Chris Farley would be at the pearly gates going--

"Michelle... that wasn't very nice. You exploited a group of people for your own gain and crooked beliefs. Plus your refusal to ever read a book... Very Hitler like Michelle. I'm sorry, this gate isn't for you. You can take the limbo elevator down, directly, to hell."

She makes me so mad. I mean, the only reason that she can spurt out stupidity and these strangely driven political antics is through the fact that a lot of women worked hard to make work like this possible. I'm sure if in the 1970's Gloria and the gang thought this would be the result, they may have change some things. Or, they may have killed baby Michelle Bachmann like they should have killed Damion in The Omen or Rosemary's baby in Rosemary's Baby. I can't stand the idea that she is the female potential candidate. She wants to go back to the way the "Founding Fathers" had things... Well, let's look at what world they were dealing with and what they may have thought about Michelle Bachmann running for President.

1. They probably would have thought "AHH!" because, according to the US Census Bureau, there were only 2.5 million people in the U.S. in 1776. The amount of people probably would have made them poop their shifts, knickers and wigs.

George Washington apparently had wooden teeth and no one showered. They were all hairy and if you weren't a slave, chances are you were Western European. Women had no rights. No one who was any color but white was also screwed and people fought with muskets and disease (but they probably just blamed magic or something).

2. Slavery still existed. Why do people think it's cool to keep things based in this romanticized past. Did the last 2-500 years just not happen? Do you really want to go back to not vaccinating children-- sure polio gives you character-- but really? Do you want to tell your friend they can't be around anymore because they're black? That's just fucked.

3. Did I mention women had no rights back then? It took Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony and a WHOLE bunch of old white ladies to make that happen. That happened after the abolition and rights of African Americans was passed. Stanton and Anthony had a split from Fredrick Douglass and from each other over these issues. Fredrick Douglass, though I love him, didn't want to attach "sex" to the 18th amendment because he knew that would hold it back from being passed. I hope that if Fredrick met Michelle Bachmann, he would fight her as well... of course, for different reasons.

There are more reasons that basing things on the Founding Fathers isn't so great... I mean, beyond the pressures their ghosts have to endure. Talk about being a group without a voice, they have to haunt to be heard and since Google +, haunting just seems like you're crazy, I bet there's a circle for that.

I just get so pissed that someone can stand at a podium, declare that groups of people will harm children when there is little chance of that happening. You know what's hurting children? Words of hate. Denouncing groups in a generalized form.

A lot of problems come from suppression. I watch Mad Men, I know.

Maybe instead of threatening groups of people who are brave enough to come out of a shell that has held them in for so long, you could embrace them. Welcome them into your belief system (even though its whack-tastic) and actually take a look at whether or not children are harmed by it.

Children are probably harmed more by your foolish remarks and homeschooling. Jesus horses are not what we call dinosaurs and I have rocks in my driveway and friends in science who can carbon date that can tell you that the world isn't just 4000 years old. It may have been Palin who said that first, but I'm pretty sure Bachmann rides the same Constitution covered, touring, promotional short bus as the former.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Are You There Tina? It's me, Alexis.

This past Tuesday was one the funnest day I've had in a long time. I use the term, "funnest," because it exemplifies the amount of fun (the most) and the childlike nature in which it was had.

The morning was slow. "How slow?" You might ask and I'd say take a trip back to your childhood. Imagine a time when you wanted something so much, a trip to Disney World (not Land), a Nintendo 64, a new Ninja Turtles bed sheets set or some fine china... Think about how you felt during the waiting period. The minutes feel like hours. The hours like days. Meals don't have taste. Sleep just isn't an option. My morning at work, reading scripts, seemed to last an eternity.

The clock struck fun.

I did some work then hopped in my car, "Lil Girl," and sped off to USC.

Crossing the street, I said hello to my friend A.K. "Hey, Alexis." He said, in the nicest Colorado way. "Hey, A.K." I replied. Then I saw them. I said to myself, "That guy looks like Andy Samberg. Hey, that guy is Andy Samberg." Yes, it was Mr. Dick In A Box himself, walking right next to Rashida Jones (The Office, I Love You Man, Parks and Recreation). I tried to be cool, I pointed back to them and told A.K., "Look!" Just then, Rashida turned around. So, I, in a most awkward and teapot fashion, swung my arm around and just kept my swagger.

Now, you might be wondering when I'm going to talk about Tina Fey. To this I say, hold your mo-fo-ing horses, okay. It was a big day and there's a lot of name dropping in this story because these people in L.A., for once, matter to ME. This story is about my day people, my day.

After this monumental embarrassment (on my end of course, she doesn't know me from Jack), I lined up with 22 other hopefuls on the 4th floor of the SCA halls. We all sat in packs, like nerdy wolves waiting for classic movie dinner. Then there they were, the first bit of fun in my day: TCM 2011 FILM FESTIVAL PASSES.

Quick complaint: Though I am excited to have these passes, that cost upward of $300 for non-USC SCA folk, I have to say last year's "Classic" passes were better than this year's "Matinee." What is this, amateur hour? Has the recession hit the SCA? I seriously doubt it. I say, give the people what they want so certain young ladies and gentlemen can hang with Alec Baldwin and Robert Osbourne.

Happiness continued. As I left the USC campus, I pictured myself as Ginger Rogers, with dark hair, of course and stumpier legs, but still... feathers. I glided across Jefferson, past the bus stop, dancing beyond the Bank of America and Subway into my two hub capped Scion.

I met my boyfriend, who I will call "Schmegg" to protect his identity, and we trekked two miles to the Nokia Theater.
Now, for all of you East Coasters reading this, I assume at least my Dad will check this out, so, Dad, L.A. Live is my least favorite thing in Los Angeles. It's worst than traffic and more vapid than the Kardashians. There are lights everywhere to attempt to distract you from realizing that it's gross and awful, the parking is overpriced and that there are Kings fans everywhere. I would say the only going for it is Schmegg drove.

We met up with some friends for dinner and beers at the Yard House. It was a lot of fun because my friends are crazy writers who love to have a good time and are nerdy enough to also obsess over Tina Fey and Steve Martin. Oh, look! The first glimpses into what I'm actually going to talk about. Sweet.

We walked over to the Nokia Theater, found our seats and realized we were supposed to have autographed books upon entry! Schmegg solved this, as not to let me totally freak out and get us kicked out or something dramatic.

My friends ended up sitting right next to us, which was crazy because the place was filled with 5,000 people (all net proceeds going to our local NPR station, KPCC!). The talk is part of a series called "Live Talks LA" and the link will take you to the video page, which soon, will probably host a video of Tina and Steve's interview.

The interview was amazing. They were both as funny as one could dream. Steve Martin asked fantastic questions and Tina Fey was answering them with quick wit, funny responses and dignity. To sound sappy and corny all at the same time, it was inspirational. They didn't destroy any pre-conceived notions about their personalities. They weren't awful or pandering, they were just fantastic.

Here is an sample of the interview until KPCC puts up the video (apologies to Schmegg who appears in the end of this video):


I decided that the event would be really difficult to convey in just my words alone. I can't tell you how excited and happy I was to be there and how awesome the experience was... So, I decided to do my own Q&A, on a less famous scale, with one of my friends who sat next to me during the show. His name is Greg-- Not Schmegg-- He's a different guy who's not my boyfriend (I'm too busy and tired to have more than one boyfriend, plus, what girl really wants that? That just sounds awful... Just another double standard in life and in polygamy). Here's that interview, conducted via email:

Alexis M: What was your favourite (yes, spelled that way) part of the evening?

Greg K: Standing three feet away from Tina Fey and being struck by her -- not sure if it was how gorgeous she looked, or that I was face-to-face with a personality I'd previously only seen on television -- but I was barely able to stammer that she was my hero before stumbling off.

AM: Who would you rather make out with: Tina Fey, Steve Martin or the CEO of KPCC?

GK: Being the CEO of a public radio station has got to put you on the bottom rung of upper-level management. That's like being the editor of an elementary school newsletter. So no to him, or her, whoever they are.

You'd probably expect me to say Steve Martin for comedic value, but I'm going to just go out there and say that I would obviously rather smooch Tina Fey, but that I think this question is far, far too personal. Having the audacity to ask such a prying question with such a perfunctory tone is insulting not only to my privacy, but also to the American sense of decency.

Speaking of, would you rather get fucked in the ass by Steve Martin, or Tina with a strap-on?

AM: I'd rather have high tea with them, you perv.

Did you see any other celebrities at the event?

GK: No, but I heard you did, and this sounds suspiciously like a quid pro quo question. Did you see any other celebrities at the event, Alexis?

AM: Yes. I will happily name drop that I saw Paula Pell (writer for SNL and 30 Rock), Judd Apatow, Catherine O'Hara and Martin Short... How the hell did you end up sitting next to me when we bought tickets separately?

GK: You bought your tickets after me. So, of course, it was a challenge. I had to hack my way into the Ticketmaster database using skills I picked up from repeated viewings of the 1995 cyberpunk masterpiece, Hackers. Then, upon discovering the seat that you had purchased, I went back in time, using knowledge I had picked up from repeated viewings of 1994 dystopian masterpiece, Timecop. Then it was as easy as selecting the seats nearest you. The whole scheme, of course, is just the beginning of my plan to steal you identity using a plan I picked up from repeated viewings of Single White Female. I already have an Alexis wig in my closet!

AM:What was your favourite audience asked question?

GK: Steve Martin is a comedy genius, and when someone asked Tina where she got her gorgeous leopard print heels, Martin launched into this amazing routine about his own loafers, and how when he had originally bought them they were too tight, but not after years of wearing them, they fit perfectly, and just when you thought it was over, he exclaims, "And the laces..." He had the whole audience in stitches from the first moment to the last.

AM: What was your least favourite audience asked question?

GK: I'm not a hater, so I refuse to answer this question: everyone who asked got their quandary answered (or at least presented to) one of the most talented comedy writers and performers alive, and I can't begrudge them for that.

Let me ask you a question: what question would you have asked if you got to ask a question?

AM: I would have

probably would have asked Tina if working in an all male environment makes it difficult to ask around for a tampon if you forget and

probably would have asked Steve if he would say "Don't trample the pansies," my favorite line from Father of the Bride 2...What is the cutest thing about Tina Fey? Steve Martin?

AM: Which of their books have you read?

GK: Instead of answering this question, I'm going to pose another to you: What is the cutest thing about me?

AM: Probably your ability to drool on your copy of Bossypants without destroying the Tina Fey autograph... Let's keep this on task, shall we..? What is your favourite piece of work created/starred in/ whatever'ed by Tina Fey and/or Steve Martin?

GK: 30 Rock itself is a masterpiece that I feel will stand the test of time. Several of Martin's movies are great, but his stand-up can't be beat. The albums, while missing the crucial visual aspect of these performances, are still amazing: Let's Get Small is a work of genius from the first moment to the last.

And also, the way you are spelling "favorite" makes me want to strangle a Canadian. Please stop.

Much like Greg, my favorite part of the evening had to be when an audience member asked Tina where she got her shoes and Steve intervened. It was so quick and magnificent. We were cracking up and it just proves, once again, that he is a comedic genius and that she is generous with her presence on stage and in comedy. My second favorite happened when he was reading out of her book and she just looked like a little kid on stage who couldn't believe that this stuff was actually happening.

I still will openly say, I want Tina Fey's job. That's right, Fey, I want it. But I will also say that my heroes are proving to be genuine human beings who are talented and should never be hugged by crazy fans inappropriately. I like the no hugging policy. It's something I can get behind.

That's what he said.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Burning a 3 Way Candle

First things first, you have to play this video while you read my post. This will give you a sense of what I do all the time (multitask) and will also give you a sense of the soundtrack to my life in this moment. Plus, it's a fucking awesome song.

So, once again I find myself blogging when I really should be working on this script. I want to work on the script. I've been reading and working on scripts (including this one) all day. I think this may be my problem. As my friend Stephanie just told me "You're burning the candle at both ends, except your candle has 3 sides." Stephanie is right and so are most of you who told me I'm overloading myself, I'll keep from using your real name, but it rhymes with Schmegg. You win. Blurgh.

I used to spell "Blurgh" with just a "g" at the end... I might return to that... I don't think I like that H... leave your comments to let me know what you think and then I'll smack you right back with my opinions, because let's face it, I love to do that.

Like I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, I'm supposed to be working on this script. I'm hoping that blogging will help loosen up whatever its going on upstairs in my brainland and help me write something funny. It's like the more I think about how much I have to do with it the more psyched out I get... a vicious cycle... a true white lady problem.

Let me tell you my life saving choice today. Listening to Tina Fey's new book "Bossypants" on the book on tape-esque option on my new Kindle... Thanks Jodi!
If you're going to read Tina Fey's book and you're in a car, this is the way to do it (especially since reading in the car is for the A. experience and B. retarded).
The woman's robotic voice is just makes words like "lesbian," "b-hole" and "very, very, very, very, very" all that much better. She also can't pronounce "Bossypants" it resembles the way you would say "participant" instead of "Bossy-pants." Amazing.
This is a great pastime for East to West then West to East traffic time and the occasional loop North. I can read without reading and I'm not eating into time I would be doing anything other than listening to NPR, singing Whitney Houston songs out loud or of course, speaking with loved ones illegally on my DROID (If you've been around me when my phone is on you know what I'm talking about).

The low points of my day were kind of frequent today, but nothing 3rd world... or were they? Maybe the 3rd world does want to cry when they're Ray Bans hit the ground and kind of get a little messed up. Maybe people walking from village to village are worried about Beverly Hills being over the top. Maybe countries with little to no drinking water do stress about "is my 434 script funny enough and why can't I just fucking write it and be a good writer like all the super smart people I go to school with?" Yeah, they probably worry about these things. Sorry, guys, I have no advice because we deal with these issues as well in the US. It's a real shame.

Have I finished bitching? No... What are you crazy?! I could complain all day... give me a subject... I'll improvise... I'll "yes and" that shit 'til the cows come home... I'll complain about the cows coming home... I don't have room for cows in my shitty studio apartment at
123 murder street, LA CA 900***

My last complaint before I go do actual work... and if anyone gives me shit about doing this and not doing actual work tomorrow I might kill them on the spot...

Tina Fey is pregnant. WTF.
I was so proud of her for not sharing this kind of information and complaining about it endlessly in The New Yorker-- because I love reading the New Yorker and if anyone feels moved enough to get me a subscription or give me your old magazines... do it. I love that shit.
Oh, well. I guess it's okay. I mean, pregnancy is weird. It's like alien or the end of Spaceballs... but choices... and only children are weird (yeah, you heard me) so I guess props to them. Blurg (no "h").

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Stoled This.

I stole this quiz from my new favorite blog... http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/ it's run by Ken Levine who is a comedy writer and HILARIOUS. He not only writes about my favorite things, but also about my FAVORITE THINGS.
So I'm doing the quiz he had on his blog... because I'm cool and out to prove it.

  • A-Available/Single? No.
• B-Best Friend? Carol. My sister will be mad at this... but sisters don't count in this quiz.
• C-Cake or Pie? Both... on the same plate.
• D-Drink Of Choice? Iced tea and for late night, more Iced tea
• E-Essential Item You Use Everyday? My keys, they get my in and out of my apt. When I lost them that one (2) time, my life sucked.
• F-Favorite Color? Green or Red. If you're color blind, this is the same.
• G-Gummy Bears Or Worms? Both, in the same bag.
• H-Hometown? Easton
• I-Indulgence? Hillstone restaurants. I love beet burgers and their fries. Bandera has the best drink on earth and R+D has the best Martini (that my cousin named.
• J-January Or February? November.
• K-Kids & Their Names? Never going to happen. Adopted. Doggie.
• M-Marriage Date? Never? Not soon? June 4th?
• N-Number Of Siblings? 1
• O-Oranges Or Apples? Both, in the same lunch bag.
• P-Phobias/Fears? Everything? I'm like the Woody Allen of girls.
• Q-Favorite Quote? Deeds not words.
• R-Reason to Smile? Everything. Oh, and The Dick Van Dyke Show
• S-Season? November sweeps.
• T-Tag Three or Four People? why? So they can know how cool I am?
• U-Unknown Fact About Me? I kick with my left foot.
• V-Vegetable you don't like? Stephen Hawkins, sike, Fennel.
• W-Worst Habit? Too wound up (What if I had said "Pooping myself?")
• X-X-rays You've Had? Teeth, ankle, head, neck, pelvis ... is this the only x word someone could think of?
• Y-Your Favorite Food? Yummy Pasta or my Mom's Pasta Salad. Oh, and a salad with it.
• Z-Zodiac Sign? Sagittarius

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Self Editing

Right now I'm working on editing/re-writing my Modern Family spec for the Nickelodeon Fellowship.
Well, not right now, because I thought, once again, that writing in my blog might free up some creativity that's staying dormant in my brain.
I think I may have figured out an organization problem, so this might help to make my script better... this leads me to what I'm going to talk about... Editing.

Now, I'm living a privilaged life. I won't hide it. I go to USC... I'm a brat. I worked pretty hard to get here and continue to do so, but my problems are like, "I can't think of anything funny." or "I don't want to eat pb&j I want Freshii today." These aren't real problems. They're my problems, and really the funny thing can be an issue when that's how you want to make a living, but they're not like, "I don't have food." or "I don't have a family that cares." They care. They care a lot.

You're probably, at this point, like, "Shut up then." Well, you shut up.

Last night Paul Hirsch came to talk to my John Hughes writing class. If you don't know who he is, you should IMDB him. He's edited a lot of impressive work: Star Wars, Carrie, Ferris Bueller, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, among others.
Hearing him talk about his work and working with John Hughes was inspirational but just like any other time we have impressive people speak-- it's intimidating as well. He loves what he does and says to do things you love otherwise you'll get frustrated. He's good at what he does, he gets to say this.
The frustration and intimidation comes into play when I'm sitting in the WGA Library trying to rewrite a script that is for a fellowship that I have a very slim chance getting. I do it anyway because you have to play to win, to whineand to hopefully succeed.

I just want to write funny things, but how does one know they're funny? I hope I'm not one of those people who "think they're funny." You know, like when someone doesn't get Michael Scott on The Office because they're that character... I don't want to suck the funny out of the room... I want to pump it in there like a Swedish made penis enlarger... or a pump.

I'm hoping that Improv class tonight will help me expel some of the daemons that are living in my eyeballs today.
This week is poopy. Maybe I should just sit in a corner and cry it out? Nah, that would be quite a sight and probably pretty inappropriate here at the WGA. Their walls are glass so all of Miracle Mile would see me hunched over sobbing... I'll save it for when I have money, it might make Star Magazine... or the NYtimes like Chris Lee-- did you guys see that?!
Just when you think Egypt is the only thing to care about... blamo... the GOP does something that is the equivilant to a Zales diamond...

The next part of this blog will be called... Smart Guy: Chris Lee.

Chris Lee... so you're a smart guy. I mean you're a Congressman. You went to University of Rodchester and then Chapman University... you didn't get your partying out there?

Chris, did you think to maybe ask someone in your district, maybe an intern, what they think about Criagslist? Or maybe what they think about sending topless "phone pix" to people they like?
Your interns are probably working their asses off to make sure you don't see shit on Facebook. They're probably contacting friends from undergrad to ask them to please untag those embarrassing Cabo photos. No one knows your interns. No one voted for them.

Are you auditioning for the Jersey Shore? You might want to send MTV or FoxNews your resume... isn't that where trashy people go to die? Like Elliot Spitzer? I mean... you could co-host.

I hope John Boehner sheds a tear for your intelligence. It would be one of the few tears worth seeing. I hope Nancy Pelosi comes to your house and smacks you across the face.
I hope Obama sends you a picture of him shirtless and shows you how it's fucking done.

You'll probably crawl out of this hole, Chirs, I don't worry about that. I mean, now people really know who you are and that you work out.
Luckily you live in the land of Kardashians, Schwartzennegers and Johnny MacEnroe. No worries... just keep being rich and retarded.

Wow... that made me feel so much better! I'm going to go write some Modern Family now. Feel free to comment ;) Or if you know someone-- send this shit. I feel like Chris Lee needs to see it.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


I haven't blogged in a while. Not on this blog, not on my Ingrid Bergman blog... not on a stranger's blog... not blogging.
School and such hasn't allowed for it.
I had a shitty day today. It was the kind of day where everything was a beat off. Then I lost my keys. Everything went to pot.

I had to walk to the rental office, walk to my friend's house for my spare car key and walk home. I was steaming on this walk. I was pissed and annoyed. My back hurts from carrying a heavy bookbag around.

I realize now, though this day was crappy, it wasn't that bad. I have good things going on... one of which is working on a bio for the Nickelodeon Fellowship.

I'm hoping that writing this post is going to help me loosen up some of the hang ups I've had while writing this bio. It has to be funny, it has to be creatively written, well written and articulate why I'd be a good candidate to write comedy TV for Nickelodeon for a year.

I'd love to just stroll up to them and say... "BECAUSE IT'S BEEN MY DREAM SINCE I FIGURED OUT TV WASN'T JUST TINY PEOPLE IN A BOX."
But that's what gets you escorted off the property.
I'd love to tell them, "BECAUSE MY MOM TOLD ME I CAN DO WHATEVER I PUT MY MIND TO." They'd probably correct my grammar and escort me off the property.
That's what I intend to do.
I have to have a bio, an application and a TV 1/2 hour spec (with one or two in reserves) just to get a first interview.
I've written a 1st draft of a "Modern Family" and I've been thinking of creative ways to articulate my strange, yet hilarious journey to my 26 year old self.

I bet you're wanting to know what's going on with me personally or in school.
Well, I'm not going to tell you about my personal life now. I'll tell you that I'm taking a ton of classes and writing more than ever (just not online). I am in love with television, though this isn't a new thing. I'm pretty sure I don't talk like I'm from the Eastern Shore or Maryland really because of television (thanks TV I love you.)

I read a fantastic article in the New Yorker today by Tina Fey. It was shear inspiration. I wish I could pull a Donald Glover and she could just discover me and we could eat french fries and make fun of people who walk by all day long. Then I could go work at SNL and occasionally something at Sesame Street... No big deal.

Until that happens though, I will continue to work my hands to the bone getting my work read and my comedy to the people.

Don't forget to laugh.