I went to the ATM to get some fresh, crispy, well-earned Hamiltons and much to my dismay I was firmly dissed by the machine. The bank fairies who work behind the ATM told me that I had "insufficient funds" that I was "in the red" (as some might call it) and to "go fuck myself" because I was "S.O.L." Okay, so they didn't actually tell me the last two things, but they mine as well.
Due to my sole nature of the trip--getting some green paper to buy a sweet hair cut, to which I will refer later--I was short on time and heavy on problems. I called the hair salon to postpone my appointment.
Let me tell you something; Growing up, I was the only Alexis I knew. There was never a need for "Alexis M." or "Lexi" or even "Lex" (yes, I used them, but under my own free will, not due to some teacher's need for me to be recognized if punishment be needed). So when I called "Studio S," the hippest, bangin'-est salon in Santa Barbara, it really threw me for a whirl that the lady on the other end's name was in fact, Alexis. Here's how it went:
Alexis: Hello, Studio S, this is Alexis Whatevermylastnamewas, how can I help you today?
Alexis: I need to reschedule my appointment
Alexis: Okay, can I have your name?
Alexis: (in my head) *Bitch you already stole my name.* Alexis Morrell.
Alexis: Okay, Alexis, I [Alexis] have you in for a 1:30. Can I switch you to 4:15
Alexis: Yes, thanks.
Is that confusing? What the fuck!?
So after this adorable rendezvous on the phone with my alter ego who just happens to have my name (that's how freaking awesome my name is) I entered the block, the bastille, the BofA, The Bank of America.
Now the last time I was in the building, I was reporting some fraudulent activity that had come my way. Guess what I was there for this time? The same thing!
I am not a wealthy person. I am not a poor person, well not in my head. But in real life, I am a poor person, I just have well off people around me and I am babysat by LOTS of people. When the money disappears, I have problems. I work hard for those dollars. Julia demands quite a bit of legos, trips to the beach, potty trips, books read aloud and attention spent on her and only her. These hours are wasted when some douche-bag hacks into my shit and steals my dough. NO WAY JOSE~!
I talked to the dude in the BofA and he said I have to wait until tomorrow to do anything! This is BOGUS! So tomorrow, part 2 of the lovely bank activities will continue. Now all of this was unexpected stress. Here, you might say, is where you could criticize me and tell me that "That's not stress, I'll tell you about stress"--well here's what I have to say to you. How about you lose ALL of your money, go into the red and be 3000 miles away from your Mommy! That's stressful brotha. So stick it up your ass. The only way to get away with this-- say it like in Crocodile Dundee "That's not a knife..."
I am lucky in all of this. Because I am a metaphorical 12 year old until January, my surrogate family here in Santa Barbara paid for me to have my hair cut. I think they were nervous that I might do something dramatic or possibly cry. I didn't do either--well I mean the haircut is slightly dramatic-- but it leads into the more positive part of my day!
I saw 500 Days of Summer, again, this weekend. I am in love with this movie. It's my generations The Graduate. Though I know I have already blabbered on about this flick, it's worth it. Zooey Deschanel is in this movie and she is kick ass, across-the-board-kick-ass. I decided, due to my interpretation of the character, my brown hair, blue eyes (not quite Zooey blue, but bugger off!) and my boop-boop nose, that I would emulate the hair cut that Ms. Deschanel has in the film.
My new haircut
Unlike Ingrid Bergman's short hair cut, which destroyed a lot of the women's hair in middle class America in the 1940s, this haircut is a winner!!
Totally made my day to have it come out exactly as I had hoped! One movie saves the day! Oh, wait, there's more.
After a hilarious dinner with the Case/Carlander clan, we watched George Cukor's 1938 classic Holiday starring Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn; this movie is fantastic. What a great way to end a shitty day! This movie is a hilarious comedy that was transformed from a play to a movie and then remade into this movie. See it. It's worth it.
I took a liking to the drunk brother, Katharine Hepburn's character who is the crazy sister--love it!-- and the people Cary Grant hangs out with and of course Cary Grant's character.
This movie is screwy yet poignant showing conflicts between classes and gender. There is so much that it has to offer. See it.
Now I'm going to read more of Nathan Rabin's book "The Big Rewind," It's been taking me a bit because I'm pacing as not to have it end. Read it.
Did you know that Great White Sharks are warm blooded and can therefore beat the ever-living crap out of a Tiger Shark in cold water. That is why Deloris the Tiger Shark's radio tag was beeping from the stomach of a White Shark. R.I.P. Deloris.
Also-- the camera guys and shark experts shouldn't wear black wet suits, they just look like seals.
"Live every week like it's shark week"-30 Rock